She was alone and there was nowhere to go and so she went into the emptiness ahead.

”And she was gone”, this is what I wanted to write, what I wanted to say out loud, so I could feel the vibrations my tongue and vocal cords would produce (to create a feeling of something, of belonging), because I am obsessed with the idea, the image, of people and things disappearing into thin air, of them ceasing to be from one moment to the other, stopping to exist altogether as if they never had been in the first place, leaving no trace where they were and not taking anything over to that {        } they are going to notbe ‘next’, which in turn loses all its possible potential at meaning anything, everything, no-thing at all. They disappear, leave without a trace, no flakes of skin, no strands or locks of hair, not even a breath or a gaze resounding  into the infinity they left behind for people to sift through wondering about | { [ (  ) ] } |.

Her eyes she did not need any longer, for there was no need to see, so she wiped them from her face in one tender motion with her fingertips and kissed them goodbye.

What about her breath? When you disappear into nothingness, do you still have need of air to fill your lungs? Would she still keep on breathing simply for the sensation of filling her lungs with space, which makes them expand and collapse again as soon as she chooses? And when the space in her lungs collapses [in on itself], then what, would she then have time in her lungs, little grains of sand perpetually trickling upwards and downwards? Why did I start with her eyes? Why would she have to wipe them away like some excess paint and flick them from her fingers into thin air [you see, the air is important, too, even more so there]?

Her mouth she kept for the time being, because here, she had finally time to sing.

Yes, time to sing she had, but only in this tiny fraction of a moment before she would disappear altogether. The mind, it is said [but don’t hold me to my word, I do not know by whom], can draw out one moment indefinitely, continuously deferring its conclusion, if I remember correctly. That means that in this final moment, which would eventually obliterate her existence lies the very essence of this existence, the joy.

She opened her mouth, flexing her muscles.

In contrast to her I keep my mouth shut, I don’t need to spell everything out for you.

And [with a smile on her face] she was gone.


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